Will the Real Influencers Please Stand Up?

The fact that people are making a living off of videotaping a recommendation for a product and posting it on social media is the ultimate in lazy commercialism with a heavy focus on materialism. But you may ask…how do I really feel about the influencers phenonenom?

This whole influencer thing has me a bit miffed. And annoyed. And disturbed.

But rather than just spouting off with my opinion, I thought I should maybe do a little research. As I no longer have the Encyclopedia Britannica at my fingertips, I googled “influencers culture” and came to a post on LinkedIn that helped me understand at least one person’s view of the phenomenon. (There are also tons of memes, charts, articles, etc. on the internet describing the different types of influencers, levels of influencers, etc.) Since this is a blog and not a dissertation, my research is far from extensive.

Here’s how the author of the opinion piece defines the influencer culture: A sociological phenomena known as ‘influencer culture’ describes how people with sizable followings on social media sites like Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok have a considerable impact on the lifestyle and monetary decisions of their followers. Celebrities, sportsmen, and regular people can all be considered influencers if they have developed a sizable online fan base through the distribution of relevant content.”

Note that many influencers are moving away from the term and now call themselves “content creators”. I have to admit that it does have a less cringy sound even if the result is the same. But that phrase – online fan base – really gets me. Doesn’t fan come from fanatic? Just sayin’…

The author goes on to say that influencers are seen as “authorities” in their area – which in my mind just means they use the product that they promote…so long as they are being paid to do so. He also notes that businesses use influencers to reach new audiences for the promotion of their products or services. While this may seem like a brilliant marketing plan (inexpensive, new audience access, little effort, etc.), these product promoters are influencers in the weakest, least important sense of the world. Here’s the LinkedIn article I referenced: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/influencer-culture-its-impact-society-critical-rahul-singh#:~:text=A%20sociological%20phenomena%20known%20as,monetary%20decisions%20of%20their%20followers

Let me introduce you to a few of the real influencers in my life. But before I do, let me address my definition of the popular term. Fully realizing that I sound like my parents…”Back in my day…” influencers were people who helped us grow up to be contributing, caring adults. They modeled behaviors that showed the way to be a positive, compassionate human. And I had plenty of those people in my youth and beyond. I bet you did, too.

Of course, the first, most obvious and most important example of influencers in my life are my parents. I moved through childhood watching them demonstrate characteristics such as decency, kindness, care, responsibility, and compassion. They also demonstrated the integrity to do the right thing when “no one was looking”. Both of my parents were just old- fashioned upstanding humans. They worked hard, they contributed to their community and they held me accountable for my actions. And trust me, I didn’t always make that easy for them. Recently I was thinking about my mom who is 97 years old. She is still influencing me by showing me that though you may be old, tired, achy, frustrated, and bored, you can still be gracious, grateful, and kind.

One of my favorites – These influencers showing me what it means to love someone through the years.

Then there are all of those other adults who parented me or in today’s lexicon – influenced me. I’ll start by introducing you to a couple of VIP influencers in my life – Mr. and Mrs. P.  I was lucky enough to have a nice visit with them at their home last month and just visiting with them in their family room brought me a pure joy. Growing up, some might say I spent as much time in their house as I did in my own home so I can almost claim it as my own. On this visit, I was struck by Mrs. P’s smile and Mr. P’s giggle which brought back a rush of cherished memories from my years in which I was influenced by their kindness and guidance. Through their example, I learned lessons that I carry with me today. A few of the most important lessons I learned involve the many sleepovers I enjoyed there. I learned how to be a contributing member of a family unit, how to scrub a bathroom until it sparkled, how to share space (3 sisters plus me in a bedroom – I guess technically, they were learning to share space with me – haha), and how to joyfully get our chores done so the adventures of the day could begin.

Not Mr. and Mrs. P, but era specific!

Side story – On Saturday mornings after a Friday night high school sporting event, we woke up at 7:00 am to the sound of Mrs. P singing at the top of her lungs…Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day…She stood at the bottom of the stairs throwing the cleaning supplies to the top so that we would get up and get our day started. After she finished “Lemon Pledging” the living room furniture while singing “Me and Mrs. Jones” at the top of her lungs, we found her in the kitchen cooking up some scrumptious breakfast to reward our efforts upstairs.

But most importantly, Mr. and Mrs. P showed me the value of love, plain, simple love. I never entered their home without being greeted with a smile, a kind word, and the warmest of welcomes. (Usually there was some homemade treat or a meal, too.) I know this made me feel special and I also know that this is how they treated everyone. But sometimes I like to kid myself and think that that joyful greeting was just for me because that’s how they made me feel. And as I experienced on my recent visit, they still do make me feel that way. Thanks to their influence, I find that in my daily interactions, I try to have a kind word, share a smile and a happy greeting, and I try to approach life with a sense of joy…just like I learned on Brookhill Avenue.

My niece and I at “the” wedding on Brookhill Ave circa 1981
Sheridan Apartments in Salinas – the second time I’d moved to a place where I didn’t know a soul…

“Influencers” don’t just exist in one’s childhood. I don’t want to forget the influencers of my adult professional life. As a young, lonely, scared first-year-teacher in Salinas, Sherry and Jim “adopted” me by welcoming me into their home with their young teenage kids. They showed me the importance of mentoring others entering the profession and what it meant to be a committed, creative, caring teacher while finding balance in life. They also demonstrated the importance of being a life-long learner and setting goals.

Side story – Sherry and I lost touch over the years, but thanks to Facebook we reconnected. Recently, Glen and I were heading home from Hawaii and as we were getting settled in our seats…who should board after us, but Jim and Sherry! I would have known them anywhere as after more than 30 years since we’ve been together, they haven’t changed a bit…except maybe hair color? (Trust me…it happens to the best or us.) After the flight, we met up at the baggage claim for a quick hug and chat.

While teaching in Chico, my next door “neighbor”, Dolly showed me what it meant to be a full-of-life 60+ year old teacher. I always had her in the corner of my mind as I got closer to 60. I knew that just like her, I could grow up to be an effective, positive, creative, innovative teacher all the way to the end of my career, even if I was starting to get tired! (Which I was…)

My apartment while teaching at Chapman Elementary (second floor, back stairs) Chapman seen below.

Diane was my “work partner” for decades. She showed me what it means to be a true partner in a job – how to grow together, how to support each other when there are struggles, how to cheer for our successes, and how to learn from our failures. She supported me through life’s personal struggles by lending an ear and a shoulder and by always having an encouraging word. But mostly, she modeled the value of enduring generosity and friendship.

My Cambridge “golden years” colleagues (you know who you are) taught me how to laugh through all the challenges. They helped me understand that the hard work of reflection was the was the only path to personal and professional growth. They also taught me that an occasional cry was a healthy sign that I cared and that after the tears, we just get ourselves up, we brush ourselves off and we start all over again; always with the goal of improving our craft to support our students. These phenomenal women showed me how to dream of the possibilities, of the change we could be. Coincidentally, I had a conversation just yesterday with a former colleague and we threw out the question…How can we fix “it”? How can we be part of the solution? Still dreamin’…

These are only some of the people who made me who I am. They are some of my real influencers. They didn’t try to sell me anything. They didn’t try to convince me that my life would be better if I only had another jar of cream for my aging skin. They didn’t give me a one minute sales pitch with shiny lights and music. They influenced me through their example, through their love, and through their wisdom.

It turns out that TikTok, YouTube and Instagram – these are not the places where I go to find my influencers. As Mr. Rogers said…I look for the helpers. And I look for the examples – examples of real people in my life who demonstrate the qualities I admire – the ones who made me the person I am today and the person I hope that I grow into being…because when you think you’re done, you’ve only just begun.

PS Once a teacher, always a teacher – Two phrases in this post come straight out of my classroom and I can hear myself singing them with my kids:

First…we just get ourselves up, we brush ourselves off and we start all over again…

Second…when you think you’re done, you’ve only just begun…

And I guarantee that my own kids’ eyes are rolling in the back of their heads hearing those phrases again!

Published by gat2jdt2

60 something retirees (or semi-retirees) learning to live differently

Leave a comment