It has been said that opposites attract. And then there are those sayings… birds of a feather, two pigs in a poke…which indicate that like-minded/behaving creatures attract. Glen and I have been together for 37 years. We are definitely NOT cut from the same cloth. Our differences show up in SO many ways – and at the moment, planning our next big adventure demonstrates how differently we think! And yet, in the end, I think that it’s our differences that provide success. I’ll explain.
Glen has a great analogy for how we make decisions. I’ll let him tell you about it, but in a nutshell as he tells it – he dives into a decision and I take my time getting there. True, though I think that he ruminates in his head so I can’t actually see his thinking. AND I think out loud. So you can see where this is going. He gets to a decision and shares it with me and THEN I take that as my cue to START processing it, thinking about it, talking about it, researching it…and then MAYBE I’ll be ready to make a decision. You can imagine how my method drives him nuts.
So here we are NOT two peas in a pod…planning a four month trip with ALL kinds of considerations starting with…where the heck do we want to go? That first question itself is a doozy! And all I will say on that decision is…there is compromise on both sides. Yes, there is the location bucket list and then there are issues like…weather (Glen is eternally cold and I love heat which sounds like a match, but it’s not), he likes to stay in one place for awhile, I like to go, go, go, COVID, oh and the threat of WWIII, but other than that…easy AND peasy as my Afghan student, Arsh used to say.
So divide and conquer is sometimes our best method for decision-making. In this case, once we had decided on the “big rock” locations, we reverted to our usual roles; I began the search for housing and Glen started the travel logistics. This is where we sometimes hit a bump because he can’t really make those plans until I have confirmed lodging locations and as you might have guessed…sometimes on my part there is a lot of back and forth researching, thinking, processing, and talking about the planning! And there is also a lot of back and forth communicating with the various potential landlords (Airbnb, VRBO, etc.). So Glen has learned that it helps me speed up the process (have you seen how quickly the price of transportation is increasing?) by asking me to set a deadline for my lodging decisions which actually does get me moving! Urgency IS a motivator!
We have now finalized all lodging except the last destinations in Italy (Verona, Napoli and Rome) so while I get those firmed up (guess who is creating the current bump in planning?), Glen can work on getting us from London to the Isle of Arran, Scotland and from there to Canterbury, England. After a month in Canterbury, we need transportation to Paris and from there to Nice. Our last weeks in Europe will be spent in Italy and since that doesn’t happen till September…we have time…unless Glen needs to get us a Eurail pass, but that’s his department so…guess who needs a new deadline?!
So two peas in a pod? Nope. More like macaroni and cheese. They’re okay separately, but they are best together.
And I must close by recognizing that ours are not life or death decisions. Much of the world, especially Ukrainians are living through a real dilemma where their decisions might truly be the difference between life and death. They don’t have the luxury of time to ponder their choices. Or to write about them…
And finally (the REAL “finally”), as a teacher, I learned that leaving students with a question prompted more responses. So in the hopes of encouraging a few comments…tell us about your “peas in a pod” or “opposites attract” decision-making experiences. Or any other thoughts you might have…We’d love to hear from you!