Author Archives: gat2jdt2

This is the word I don’t wish to use. We are FOUR. We are not…three. The first time I was knocked off my feet by that number was when someone said, “Get together for a picture.” Glen, Blair and I – three – gathered arm in arm with smiles on our faces and before theContinue reading “FOUR – Not Three”

Sunday Morning – I’ve said Sundays were going to be difficult. The truth is…I’m never sure which day will be hard. This Sunday is a bit different. It’s the first day of December. It’s my birthday and Niels is not going to be here to celebrate with me. I woke up thinking about him. IContinue reading “Just Another Sunday Morning”

How does it come down to the pieces? One piece at a time. One memory at a time. One strand of hair at a time. Piece by piece I feel you slipping away. How do I hold on to all of the pieces that make you you? All of the pieces that make you whoContinue reading “Pieces of Me ~ Pieces of You”

It feels like the beginning of something. Or is it the end of something? What do I say? I loved him? He was the best son a mom could ever have?. He was complicated? He had the brightest smile? The biggest, deepest, heartiest laugh? He was kind, caring and patient? He could talk to anyoneContinue reading “Today’s the Day”

I stare into the skies, the ocean, the hills, the trees …searching for you. Searching for a sign that you are there. That you are here. That you see me. That you hear me. That you are still a part of me. And then…you are in my dream. You are in my heart. You areContinue reading “I call your name as…”

I don’t think the grief that I’m experiencing is the same emotion that Charlie Brown was talking about as he navigated his relationships with his friends. Is there a “good grief“? I’m trying to figure it out. I’ve been experiencing grief in a way that I never expected. And there is no handbook to prepareContinue reading “Good Grief?”

A high school friend (thank you, Kim) sent me a column about the falsity of the “Five Stages of Grief” – Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. We’ve all heard of them and as things go when something becomes popular in society…they’ve been misinterpreted in multiple ways. First, they weren’t developed to describe the grief ofContinue reading “Sound”

I made it through the dark better than the night before. Sleep did come. Dreams did not. Waking in the dark before the sun rises, I wonder…will it? And then…it does and I find myself watching the dawn of yet another day. Feeling the new and ever-present weight in my heart. The closeness of myContinue reading “Sunday Mourning”