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Never Say Never and Whatever the Heck Else Pops Into My Head

Here’s the “whatever else” story – A mustard stain on her shirt? That triggered a memory that will forever bring me a smile and a regret. We were at an A’s game. The kids were just old enough to start roaming the stadium on their own. Niels was ready for lunch so we sent himContinue reading “Never Say Never and Whatever the Heck Else Pops Into My Head”

Winter Solstice

I’m no writer, but I’ve read enough poems and essays to know that “winter solstice” is a stand in for the spirit of hope – for the return of the peace, light and warmth to our hearts, our lives, our earth. Is it coincidence that winter solstice also comes near the time of Christmas, Hanukkah,Continue reading “Winter Solstice”

FOUR – Not Three

This is the word I don’t wish to use. We are FOUR. We are not…three. The first time I was knocked off my feet by that number was when someone said, “Get together for a picture.” Glen, Blair and I – three – gathered arm in arm with smiles on our faces and before theContinue reading “FOUR – Not Three”

Just Another Sunday Morning

Sunday Morning – I’ve said Sundays were going to be difficult. The truth is…I’m never sure which day will be hard. This Sunday is a bit different. It’s the first day of December. It’s my birthday and Niels is not going to be here to celebrate with me. I woke up thinking about him. IContinue reading “Just Another Sunday Morning”

Pieces of Me ~ Pieces of You

How does it come down to the pieces? One piece at a time. One memory at a time. One strand of hair at a time. Piece by piece I feel you slipping away. How do I hold on to all of the pieces that make you you? All of the pieces that make you whoContinue reading “Pieces of Me ~ Pieces of You”

Today’s the Day

It feels like the beginning of something. Or is it the end of something? What do I say? I loved him? He was the best son a mom could ever have?. He was complicated? He had the brightest smile? The biggest, deepest, heartiest laugh? He was kind, caring and patient? He could talk to anyoneContinue reading “Today’s the Day”

A Mom’s Story

This may not strike you as the right time for this humor…but it’s the right time for me. And as I’m learning about how to experience grief, I’m coming to understand that my journey is my journey. And I’m okay with that. I read a blog post from Nancy Davis Kho today about her fallContinue reading “A Mom’s Story”

I call your name as…

I stare into the skies, the ocean, the hills, the trees …searching for you. Searching for a sign that you are there. That you are here. That you see me. That you hear me. That you are still a part of me. And then…you are in my dream. You are in my heart. You areContinue reading “I call your name as…”

Good Grief?

I don’t think the grief that I’m experiencing is the same emotion that Charlie Brown was talking about as he navigated his relationships with his friends. Is there a “good grief“? I’m trying to figure it out. I’ve been experiencing grief in a way that I never expected. And there is no handbook to prepareContinue reading “Good Grief?”

Sound

A high school friend (thank you, Kim) sent me a column about the falsity of the “Five Stages of Grief” – Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. We’ve all heard of them and as things go when something becomes popular in society…they’ve been misinterpreted in multiple ways. First, they weren’t developed to describe the grief ofContinue reading “Sound”