Three Words

My “second mother” said three simple words to me. She said that they were the hardest words to understand – to absorb – to live…

LIFE GOES ON…

And as we close out 2025, a year I’d like to forget, I find myself reflecting on the truth of those words.

My sister, Chris and I were just talking about Y2K…26 years ago. How? My kids were in elementary school. We had everything to look forward to – hope was in the air. Our futures were bright. Life was good.

I always thought that i was the lucky one. That tragedy and sadness had skipped me. That I had led a “blessed” life – no thanks to anything I did…just lucky, I guessed. And then…when I started looking back on my life, I realized that there had been some serious rough patches…to say the least.

Eight years after Y2K, Glen was fighting for his life with a stage 4 cancer diagnosis and the 2008 financial crisis nearly did us in. After those devastating years, life slowly smoothed out with the usual bumps in the road as our kids made their way in the world…what I call the crooked path to adulthood. But life went on rather smoothly. We were grateful.

Until the mid twothousandteens…when my sister, Karen died in a tragic car accident.

And then one by one, our parents began to experience the effects of their age. First, Dad with the cruelty of Alzheimer’s and then each in their own way, each parent left this earth.

At this point, Glen and I began to look toward retirement and a life of travel. It’s also when Glen began to suffer from side effects caused by his cancer treatment that had saved his life. We had been warned that down the line there could be some negative effects, but wasn’t that for “other” people? Wasn’t he the “lucky” one who would be spared?

It was at this time that I retired and we started “living” in other cities – wanting to experience different places and cultures. We were racing to beat the age clock and experience life in ways that we had imagined and dreamed about through all of our hard-working years. We had already spent summers in Montana while we both worked, but when I retired and Glen could “work anywhere”, we went to Brooklyn for three months followed by three months in New Orleans…with more long term trips planned. In fact, we were in France when those treatment side effects began to take a serious toll on Glen’s health and our European adventure was cut short. .The clock was not being kind.

As Mrs. P said…life goes on…in ways that we don’t expect. As much as we think we control our lives…it’s not true. And as so many have said…it’s not what happens TO you…it’s how you react to IT.

I’ve had plenty of opportunity to react in the last year and a half. First the shock of Niels’s sudden, unexpected death, then the slow decline my mom took until her death in January and finally…Glen.

What a battle he waged. And yet…for at least three years (really more like five), he endured many new diagnoses and pains – so many disappointments as he figured out how he could best live his life. I’m in awe of how he found ways to find joy, to learn, to grow and to live his life in his ever-shrinking world. He read, he watched shows, he followed his footie passion – Liverpool. He didn’t complain or expect those around him to live their lives any differently. He knew…life goes on…So we found ways to carry on…to modify and adjust…to live differently…to have different expectations…

And through all of Glen’s suffering…life did go on. Until it didn’t. Until he looked at me with the clearest eyes and said…”I’m ready.” Until he knew that there was no “getting better”. There was no “soon we’ll go to…” There was no…just one more treatment, one more medication, one more appointment…one more doctor…There was only…his pain and his shrinking world.

And here we are…life has gone on…Seasons have changed. Birthdays came and went. Holidays were celebrated. The year on the calendar will be changing soon.

I’m changing, too. I’m reacting to what has happened “to me” in the best way I can…I’m making mistakes. I’m learning to ask for help. I’m trying to create new habits….new ways of seeing things…new traditions…new ways of being…and…

And…?

I no longer am experiencing a sense of living a life of “luck”. I have an intense understanding that tragedy is just around every corner. It may be a slow-walking tragedy or a shocking, earth shattering step-off-a-cliff tragedy. But tragedy awaits. How will I react?

LIFE GOES ON…