A Love Story

Mary and Roberto*

I’d like to tell you another story. It’s connected to my last story…but you’ll have to wait until the end…

Last week, we got the call…Mom had changed and it was time to get in the car and head for Pasadena. I had the honor and privilege to be with Mom in her last days. And I had the honor and privilege to spend some time with the caregivers who gave Mom loving care and who gave me peace of mind as I lived far away.

Now where does this “Roberto” fit in to the story? He’s the very sweet nurse who waved and smiled every time he walked past Mom’s room. His demeanor just made you smile even if you were feeling blue. I had met Roberto a couple times before. He is one of those people who draws you in with his twinkling eyes, his quick smile and his giggle. His Spanish accent is also very endearing. The last time I was in town, he helped my brother-in-law with an issue that I won’t even go into here…but trust me…it was not part of Roberto’s job description, yet he pleasantly, happily did what he could to help him out. Clearly, Roberto is in the right profession because he just makes you feel better when he’s in the room!

The day after Mom passed I was back in her room packing her belongings and when Roberto saw me, he immediately came in to console me. His deep brown eyes told me that he truly cared for Mom and he asked if he could hug me. He also wanted to tell me a story from his first day on the job. The entire time he told me this story he had a smile on his face, a twinkle in his eyes and he was quick to giggle as the story unfolded.

Roberto – Day One – or I should say Night One as he worked the night shift?

Having Roberto on the night shift was a good thing for Mom as she was a night owl. Night shifts are usually a little more relaxed and for this reason, Roberto had some extra time that he could use to visit with Mom. The two of them seemed to have developed a nice relationship in the wee hours of the night. Here’s the story as told to me by Roberto…

On Night One, as he walked the halls checking on his patients, he saw that “Mary” (her given name though she went by “Betty”) was awake with the light on. As usual, she was playing cards so he went to her bedside to greet her and see if she needed anything. He said, “Hello, Mrs. Densmore, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Roberto.”

Now I know Mom and I’m sure she looked back at his twinkling eyes with a twinkle in her eyes. He then asked her if she needed anything. She told him that she was cold, so he glanced around the room looking for a blanket. When he brought her the small blue, crocheted lap blanket (for Mom, everything was always some shade of blue), she told him no, she didn’t need a blanket. It was her hands that were cold and as she said it, she reached out to take his hand. As he took her hand, she put her hand over his and then he covered both of her hands with both of his. Her hands were indeed cold. Mom looked at Roberto and then she slowly pulled his hands to her lips and kissed them and thanked him.

Roberto told me that he was a little surprised and a little uncomfortable by the kiss and yet he knew it that it was such a loving gesture. So he thanked her for the kiss and asked if there was anything else he could do for her before he gently pulled his hands away and headed out into the hall to take care of his other patients.

As he turned to wave goodbye “for now”, Mom looked at him with her twinkling eyes and a devilish smile, and then she gave him a wink and a wave. As Roberto told me about the wink, he gave me a wink. So sweet.

Roberto told me that on this – his very first shift, he had been a little uncomfortable by the exchange with Mrs. Densmore. He walked directly to the nurse’s station where he uncomfortably giggled as he told the charge nurse about his experience. He told her that he had felt a little “violated” by the sweet old lady in 26B and then he went on to check on his other patients.

Roberto told me that though his first day had started out a little oddly, by the end of his week he understood that it was nothing but a sweet, generous act shared with him by a sweet little old lady who was also a bit lonely.

That was the beginning of Roberto’s and Mom’s beautiful love story. He continued to take care of her and he took joy in being with her. He said that every night he spent some time playing cards with her. She couldn’t remember how to play, but that didn’t matter because they would just chat and take turns putting cards down on her tray. This is how their evening rendezvous continued…

I’m so grateful for the joy and the love that Roberto and others shared with Mom in her last years. I know she was lonely, but never alone. She never complained about anything; she never made any of us feel guilty for the amount of time that she spent alone in her room. And when anyone entered her room, she always showed joy and appreciation that they were there. She often would say, “I don’t know who you are or why you’re here, but thank you for coming!” (My sister and I received the same greeting!) It made it so easy for visitors and staff to care for her and just be with her because she made them all feel worthy and appreciated. I’m so grateful for that. I’m so grateful for her.

As I share the story of Roberto and Mom, I’m reminded of my last post about Niels and how his kindness was received by the staff at Panama Bay Coffee shop. I shared about the daily “gift” he gave them by arriving with a smile, a giggle and by simply being kind. When my friend Kimmy read that post, she texted me and said, “Joyce (aka “potato sister” to her), you know who raised him, right?”

And guess who raised me…

Love you, Mom.

*Roberto is not his real name.