The Circle of Life and Let Your Light Shine

The Circle of Life is real. And it’s impossible to say those three words without singing it and for me…that song ALWAYS brings a tear to my eye.

When The Lion King came out in the 90s, Blair was about three and Niels five. We were not big movie-goers, but of course the three of us went to the matinee at the old Walnut Creek theater on California Blvd. I was mesmerized by the music and the story, as were my kids; Blair in particular. During the entire movie, she sat on the edge of her seat and quietly asked appropriate 3-year-old questions about what was happening on screen. She was so curious and completely enthralled by it all. She carried around a stuffed Nala for years and played with a whole host of Lion King figurines, recreating the scenes from the movie and creating her own. I think I still have some of those in Blair’s “childhood” box. I probably have Nala (and Simba), too.

As the movie ended and after the credits rolled, we needed a stop at the restroom. There was a bit of a line, but I eventually took Blair into a stall while Niels patiently waited outside the door. As we were taking care of business…I overheard a 60ish year old woman and her 80ish year old mother come in to the restroom talking about that rude girl who had “talked throughout the entire movie.” They were so annoyed that the girl’s mother hadn’t “taken her out of the theater until she could be quiet.” OH NO – don’t you mess with this mama lioness and her cub!

I immediately knew that the catty, complaining women were the ones seated behind us in the theater because throughout the movie, they kept shushing Blair and tapping the back of my seat. While I was able to ignore them in the theater, I had finally had enough of their grouchy, grumbling grievances and I whipped out of that stall and said to them in an overly sweet voice, “Perhaps…if you don’t want to listen to children at a children’s matinee of a children’s movie, you should consider going to the 10:00 pm showing.”

For some reason, that experience has stuck with me. It definitely did not ruin the movie though because it’s the ONLY movie I’ve ever seen in a theater more than once and we saw it 5 times! I still LOVE that movie (and the play, of course) and now after these last six months…its message is even more meaningful.

When the circle of life happens in the order that things are meant to happen…it can be a comforting experience. Or maybe an experience that is expected just feels right? I don’t know for sure, but in the last months I’ve experienced one passing that was unexpected and definitely NOT right, not the natural circle of life order of things and then last week my 98 1/2 year old mom passed which was a peaceful, expected ending to a long, full life – just as the circle of life prescribes.

I was fortunate to be with my mom in her last days. By the time I arrived, she had already said her last words and closed her eyes for the last time; she was peacefully resting in her bed. As I sat and reminisced with her, I reminded her of all the people who loved her – those here on this earth and those who were waiting for her to join them.

As I watched her quietly sleeping in her final hour, I saw that her breathing was slowing. I had dimmed the lights and was holding her hand. She was completely calm and peaceful with no sign of pain or worry as I watched her breathe – in…..out…in…out…

In those last quiet moments, I had two thoughts and I whispered them to her.

I told her that she was the strong woman who had brought me into this world 66 years ago and the woman who had nurtured me and carried me through this world. Now I was honored and glad to be the woman who could be there to carry her into her next world. Together in that moment, my mom and I were completing our Circle of Life.

I thanked Mom for that honor…and as I said those words, this Sunday school song from long ago popped into my head and I couldn’t help myself from quietly singing it to her…as I watched her breath continue to slow…

This little light of mine. I’m gonna let it shine.

This little light of mine. I’m gonna let it shine.

Let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine.

Keep on shining, Mom. I love you.