FOUR – Not Three

This is the word I don’t wish to use.

We are FOUR. We are not…three.

The first time I was knocked off my feet by that number was when someone said, “Get together for a picture.” Glen, Blair and I – three – gathered arm in arm with smiles on our faces and before the “click” of the camera, I called out, “Family photo!”.

And it hit me. Like a ton of bricks. Our family of FOUR had turned into…three.

I don’t think that the photo exists. The photographer probably saw it as a bad shot, possibly a blurred shot with an untimely movement. Because as I said, “Family photo” – the reality hit me and I turned and buried my face in Glen’s side with a gasp of disbelief. With the shock of our new reality.

The photographer probably deleted a blurred shot. But it wasn’t a bad shot. It was a telling moment. It was one of many moments…since then and to come.

Navigating the holidays just brings home this new number in our lives.

Three

With FOUR always lurking, lingering in my heart.

We are FOUR.

We are FOUR.

Glen. Joyce. Niels. Blair. = FOUR